Spotting a Romance Scammer: A Guide for Irish Over 60s

Romance scammers are patient, polite and very good at what they do, and they target people of every age and background, so there's nothing foolish about being approached by one. The good news is that they tend to follow the same script. Once you know it, they're surprisingly easy to spot.

The Usual Story

Scammers like a job that keeps them far away and hard to check: working on an oil rig, serving overseas with the army, a doctor with a charity abroad, an engineer on a contract that's nearly finished. Widowed, devoted to a child, and very keen on you very quickly. If he's too handsome, too sure and too far away, have a second look.

Warning Signs

Watch out for someone who wants to leave the site and move to WhatsApp or email almost straight away; who says lovely things very early on, like soulmate or meant to be, before you've so much as had a coffee; who can never quite manage a video call; whose messages don't quite match their profile; or who asks you to keep the relationship to yourself.

Then Comes the Ask

Sooner or later there's a problem only money can fix: a medical bill, a customs fee, a frozen bank account, a plane ticket to finally come and meet you. It's often small at first, and it's always urgent. They may ask for a bank transfer, gift cards, cryptocurrency or for you to receive money and pass it on. Whatever the story, the answer is no. Someone who cares about you will never ask a person they haven't met for money.

A Quick Check You Can Do

Put their photos through a reverse image search, such as Google Lens. Scammers usually borrow pictures from someone else's social media, so the same face often turns up under a different name, sometimes in another country entirely.

What to Do

Stop replying and don't send anything, however upset they get. Report the profile to us so we can look into it. If you've already sent money or shared bank details, ring your bank straight away; the sooner they know, the better your chances. Then report it at your local Garda station. The Garda guide, am I a victim of a romance scam, explains what to expect.

And tell someone you trust. Scammers rely on embarrassment to keep people quiet, and there's no shame in having been targeted by a professional.

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